Cape Town Bookfair

After 5 days in freezing Jozi I flew South to beautiful Cape Town with British author Adele Parks. We didn't stop talking (although she spoke far more than me) from the moment we were picked up from the hotel until we had been deposited in our hotel at the Cape Town convention centre. We covered all areas of life from the publishing industry in Serbia to the sex of Ricky Gervais's cat. Marvellous stuff.

So everybody asks me how the book fair was this year and unfortunately I don't have a clue. At my first signing the queue double backed on itself like a deadly snake with each fan armed with a sack full of Spuds. I did two signings a day and every single one was identical and just as crazy as the last. My third and final signing pen ran out on the second day and that was followed by several more. At least the flamboyance of my signature has greatly increased and for the first time I have been complimented on my scrawl. This was partly counteracted by the lady who informed me that I held my pen like a deformed baboon, which was a setback as far as signing confidence goes. It began to dawn on me that Spud is the Frankenstein monster let loose on the country and eventually the brute will destroy me too. I decided I couldn't carry on and ran away. Unfortunately 4 Penguins jumped out of a nearby car with Madagascan registration plates and wrestled me back to my signing desk where a queue of hundreds waited patiently for their Frankensteins to be scribbled on.

Anyway I signed them all - in fact you couldn't stop me.